Dear Producers of the Academy Awards,
I feel for you. I really do. You have one of the toughest, most highly scrutinized jobs in show business: picking the Oscar host.
It used to be so much easier, didn't it? Wasn't that long ago you could just pencil Bob Hope, Johnny Carson, or Billy Crystal in there every year and be confident whichever one it was, he'd knock it out of the park.
But those days are over. The Academy and the network are breathing down your neck to get a younger audience to tune in, but how many people the world over know how to express reverence for the movie industry and its history while simultaneously appealing to the industry's most important demographic—The Kids? Seth MacFarlane and Neil Patrick Harris must have seemed like perfect choices at the time, but their middle-school humor and all-consuming smugness, respectively, didn't really do it for viewers. On the other hand, when you went with a tamer, more mainstream host—like Ellen DeGeneres—critics howled that you weren't being bold enough. And I won't linger on Eddie Murphy's abortive appointment to the hosting gig in 2012, which you're probably still more than a little salty about.
So let's think this through. What do Oscar hosts really need to do? Beyond the aforementioned objectives of reeling in the younger viewers and selling the idea that the movies are a wonderful thing, they pretty much only have to be able to handle a musical number or two. Let me make it easy for you: Your 2016 Oscar host should be Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I know, I know. Comedians are safer; actors are risky. You tried putting a young, budding movie star up there before—two of them!—and look what happened. James Franco and Anne Hathaway represent one of the most disastrous Oscar hosting jobs in history. But Joseph Gordon-Levitt (known on social media, where characters are at a premium, as "JGL") is more qualified than both put together. You just have to look past his movies to see why.
He's a consummate showman. Gordon-Levitt's best known as an actor, but he's got crazy physical talents. Consider this forgotten Saturday Night Live monologue in which Gordon-Levitt recreates the famous "Make 'Em Laugh" musical number from Singin' in the Rain. Not only does he have chops many viewers probably didn't even know about, but he also must have nerves of steel attempting such an ambitious bit of physical comedy on live television (especially impressive since the actor in the film was allowed multiple takes and an overdubbed vocal track).
He knows what The Kids Are Into. JGL actually has a side hustle, a back-up plan in case the movie star thing doesn't work out for him: In 2005, he founded HitRECord, a web-based collaborative production company that produces books, music, and short films with creative input from the public. He's also active on Vine, Twitter, and other social media, and while he wouldn't necessarily bring all of these into the ceremony, it's clear that he could inject a little genuinely modern flavor into what's traditionally been a stuffy, old-school ceremony. If Gordon-Levitt, for example, decided to take a selfie with the stars in the first row, it might actually feel genuine. And his familiarity with social media probably means he'd be able to create a few shareable moments, which these days is as important as capturing a live audience.
… Maybe because he is one of The Kids. JGL was born in 1981, which makes him—by most counts—a Millennial. For many in his age group, he's been a ubiquitous presence. If you grew up in the 1990s, you probably watched him grow in his awkward teen years on 3rd Rock from the Sun (1996-2001). After that, he starred in a movie that's has come to be strongly associated with the Millennial generation: 500 Days (of Summer). In Marc Webb's rom-com, JGL crafted a persona that's stuck with him ever since. For guys, he's your buddy who can party with you but who's smart enough to stop you from doing anything truly stupid. For women, he's the homecoming king who's secretly a dork.
He's earnest. It's a rare quality in Hollywood, and, yes, a controversial one. His sweet affability can come across as affectation, and this is more than likely what caused New York Times critic A.O. Scott to dub his character in The Walk "the most annoying person on Earth." Normally, you wouldn't want someone annoying to host the Oscars, but the good news is that Gordon-Levitt is in on the joke. Watch that clip of "Make 'Em Laugh" again, and notice how he lets SNL cast member Bobby Moynihan get the big laughs by—wait for it—punching Gordon-Levitt in the face. It's a savvy move that shows Gordon-Levitt is aware of how he's perceived, and it could come in handy on Oscar night.
So there you have it, producers. An airtight case; you're welcome. Yes, you could dig into the recent roster of awards-show hosts, but while Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would be a home run with the critics, we've seen their schtick before, and something tells me Eddie Murphy will be staying out of the limelight for a while. Gordon-Levitt, on the other hand, relishes it. Take my free advice: If you find a host who can both make 'em laugh and make 'em tune in, you might have just found the recipe for Oscar-host success. And if not, my next letter is to the Independent Spirit Awards.
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