After Davina McCall sensationally bowed out of being the big mutha of Big Brother last year, and Channel Four bosses decided to call it a day on the show, we thought that would be the end of the reality prison-like programme. But alas, not ones to let things rest, Channel Five have resurrected the format of the show and invited us back (Well those of us with the channel) to watch some barely unknowns embarrass themselves in front of the nation all for their 15 minutes of fame.
We have to admit though, that we do hold a soft spot for Ultimate Big Brother winner and new presenter Brian Dowling. Although he’ll never have quite the same impact as the much-loved Davina on the show, he does have that Irish charm to carry him through. Tonight is the first eviction of the series and it’ll be interesting to see how he handles the pressure of it all. Maybe Katherine Lynch will pop up in her Sheila Chic costume and give him a helping hand. Now that would be entertainment.
This year’s celebrity gang consist of a mix of utter has-beens and the complete unheard ofs. Kerry Katona sauntered into the house like she had made all the Channel Five’s bosses Christmas’ come at once. While she apparently tried and failed to make it into Celebrity Big Brother’s 2009 house, somehow she managed to squeeze herself into this one. The words ‘who else would do it’ come to mind. Hopefully for her, she can manage to turn her image around and shift the media attention away from her for a while. Although, somehow we don’t think this is her aim.
American Pie star Tara Reid is probably the most surprising housemate of them all. After just tying the knot a week before she entered the house, the blonde star decided to up and leave her new hubby for three-weeks, to spend her honeymoon with a house full of fame-hungry ‘celebs’. Seemingly permanently fixed with a look at utter disgust and shock at what her career has been reduced to, the actress got a bit of light relief on last night’s show when Darryn gave up the opportunity to spend time with his parrot to let her have 5 minutes on the phone with her boyfriend. Yes you read that right; Darryn’s best companion is a parrot.
Last night, housemates were given a Wizard of Oz shopping task. This basically meant a whole lot of degrading challenges and even more embarrassing costumes. At one point, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding star Paddy Doherty was seen in a dog basket, dressed in a furry comedy dog outfit with his leg cocked and howling. The things some people will do. At another point, The Only Way Is Essex’s Amy Childs was made stand on a podium answering general knowledge questions, while a man dressed in a pigeon threw feathers at her. Surprisingly, she won her challenge and even got some maths questions right. Lucien could only drink some ghastly witches brew while the Dorothy’s had to remain on the yellow brick road. Who knows what else they are prepared to do for a life in the limelight.
Sally, Bobby and Kerry dressed as Dorothys
Not one to shy away from reality TV, the show was going reasonably well until Bobby did one of the most disgusting, vile and humiliating things I think I’ve ever seen happen in the Big Brother house. With malice, the model decided to collect beads of his sweat in a can and pour them into Darryn’s mouth. As Oz’s Tin Man, Darryn had to be oiled whenever a creaking noise went off in the house and Bobby saw this as his opportunity to total mortify the man. Yes, Darryn is no angel, but nobody deserves that. I’d rather get kicked in the face than have to drink someone else’s sweat. Anybody else with me?
With Bobby, Sally and Kerry up for eviction tonight, we think he’s really taken his own faith into his hands. Big Brother should have thrown him out the minute it happened.
Apart from sweatgate, as it will forever be known, Jedward have been amusing themselves in the house by dressing up in their matching Eurovison outfits, irritating their fellow housemates and acting just as we thought they would. Who can keep up those energy levels every day?
At this point in Big Brother’s history, even the housemates themselves know when they are making fools of themselves.
Somehow we can’t help but think that Sally Bercow is going to be submitted to the same shameful activities that George Gallaway was, which consequentially ruined his career. You have to wonder how she even thought about going into that house. She’ll have more problems when she comes out than she had when she went in.
If you don’t have the channel, count yourself lucky. It has become painful watching these people act up for the cameras and pander around obeying Big Brother’s every command. The only justifiable reason for watching would be so you know who they are when they appear in the magazines. Which let’s face it, they will.
Sarah Carty
