50. Cain + Abel
Basically invented infighting.
49. Vin Diesel + Paul Vincent
Fact: Vin Diesel has a twin with an even more meathead name.
48. The Hansons (Isaac, Taylor, Zac)
Second-best Hansons.
47. The Hansons (Jack, Steve, Jeff)
The stars of Slap Shot and the best attacking line in movie history.
46. Charlie Sheen + Emilio Estevez
Made the list because of Emilio in Repo Man.
45. Melvin Jr. + Justin Upton
Baseball bros who fell a few spots when B.J.—short for Bossman Junior—started going by Melvin last season. BOOO…SSMAN.
44. The Wayanses (Damon, Marlon, Shawn, Keenen)
So many spoofs. Wait, too many spoofs.
43. The Bash Brothers
Depending on your age, could be the goons from D2: The Mighty Ducks or the ’roid-filled duo of Canseco and McGwire. Either way, same rank.
42. Noel + Liam Gallagher
“Don't Look Back in Anger” is a great song.
41. The Hemsworths (Chris, Liam, Luke)
Thor! Gale from The Hunger Games! The other one!
40. The Kims (Jong-un, Jong-nam, Jong-chul)
One is short and insane and runs North Korea. The other two were even less fit to rule.
39. The Staals (Eric, Marc, Jordan, Jared)
All went pro in hockey and Scandinavian blondness.
38. Jonny + Colin Greenwood
These two Radiohead members? [uses best Brooklyn-dad voice] THEY'RE ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT LEAD-GUITAR-AND-BASS COMBO OF THE PAST TWO DECADES.
37. Markieff + Marcus Morris
Before being split up by a 2015 trade, the NBA's Morris twins did everything together: played in Phoenix, lived in the same house, even signed a joint contract.
36. Owen + Luke Wilson
Hanging on because of Bottle Rocket, but guys, please consider this a formal warning.
35. Brook + Robin Lopez
One of the NBA twins looks like Sideshow Bob and likes to fight various NBA mascots, while the other is mis-targeted by mascot-union heavies.
34. Mark + Jay Duplass
These mumblecore filmmakers, as well as stars (and/or creators) of shows including Transparent and Togetherness, reign over an empire of feels.
33. The Starks (Robb, Bran, Rickon, Jon Snow)
Not great at staying alive, but have a better survival rate than most every other family on Game of Thrones.
32. Malcolm + Angus Young
They were AC/DC, with Malcolm wailing and Angus as the only man to make a blazer-and-shorts set look badass.
31. Jimmy + Billy Carter
One was a bighearted president, the other a big jackass. But is Billy the worst presidential brother of all time?
30. Matthew + Rooster McConaughey
Matthew won an Oscar, and elder brother Rooster, host of TV's West Texas Investors Club, named his kid Miller Lyte. Legends.
29. The Wahlbergs (Mark, Donnie, Paul)
Combined résumé: Underwear model. Rapper. Producer. Actor. New Kid. Hubby of Jenny McCarthy. Burger-chain magnates.
28. Wladimir + Vitali Klitschko
Both held boxing titles; one is maybe president of Ukraine?
27. Marc + Pau Gasol
Muy bueno at playing basketball in the NBA.
26. James + Dave Franco
James just dropped a book of poetry called Straight James/Gay James; Dave wins “Best Franco” by default.
25. Ron + Clint Howard
Ron has put Clint in almost every movie he's made. STRONG BRO LOVE, RON.
24. Step Brothers (Will Ferrell + John C. Reilly)
“Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
23. Kurt + Kyle Busch
These two NASCAR-champion drivers are actual brothers—not just sponsored by the same domestic lager.
22. The Emanuels (Rahm, Ari, Zeke)
May have slipped, but still the undeniable archetypal power bros.
21. George W. + Jeb! Bush
Jeb dropped the family POTUS success rate to a measly .666, but that's offset by Dubya's emerging-artist heat.
20. Dan + Dean Caten
The designer duo doing Dsquared2 definitely dig *d-*alliteration.
19. Bill + Roger Clinton
Would've been top ten—maybe even top five—if Roger wasn't such a colossal cock-up.
18. Super Mario Bros.
Like to do 'shrooms and swim. Cool by us.
17. The Murrays (Bill, Brian, Joel)
You think Bill carries the weight, but then you learn that Brian co-wrote and co-starred in Caddyshack and that Joel's done quality TV work for decades.
16. Romulus + Remus
Founded Rome, suckled at the teats of adopted wolf mother.
15. The Baldwins (Alec, Daniel, Billy, Stephen)
Bio-Dome holds up.
14. Jeff + Beau Bridges
13. Rob + Rex Ryan
Rex's NFL head-coaching record has taken a hit of late, but defensive coach Rob's mane remains glorious.
12. Alex + Eddie Van Halen
All those Van Halen hits, plus Eddie's godly solo on MJ's “Beat It.”
11. Raúl + Fidel Castro
Highest approval rating since La Revolución.
10. The Empire Brothers (Andre, Jamal, Hakeem)
9. Princes William + Harry
Like Empire, but white.
8. John + Jim Harbaugh
We tried to rank the coaches lower, but Jim threw his whistle-marker lanyard at us.
7. Brad + Doug Pitt
One is the most famous actor on earth. The other is a salt-of-the-earth type of guy. See?
6. Stephen + Seth Curry
Younger brother Seth just caught on with the Sacramento Kings, and Steph is God, if God had a better step-back jumper.
5. The Wolfpack
Great hair.
4. The Gronkowskis (Rob + Meat Clan)
We figured the night they wheelbarrowed each other around the ESPYs red carpet would be the family's high point. But now that baby bro Glenn is entering the league, the Gronks are basically the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with pro contracts.
3. Ben + Casey Affleck
[Batman whisper] Casey's the better actor.
2. The Kochs (Charles, David, Bill, Frederick)
Charles and David are the evil puppet masters of the right and, we'd assume, ranking elders of the Illuminati. Bill is a billionaire coal baron. Fred seems like a pretty chill guy, though.
1. Peyton + Eli Manning
Between them: Four Super Bowl rings, countless NFL records, and two ginormous foreheads. We might not see this kind of fraternal triumph ever again.
An E-mail Conversation with Brad's Little Brother
GQ: Does his fame impact your life at all?
Doug Pitt: The family members [of celebrities] are more accessible than the celebrities. Fans, would-be scriptwriters, those seeking funding, thinking I am a conduit to Brad, can be very disruptive at times. But his celebrity opens doors in both my business and my philanthropic life—so you take the good with the bad.
How's it feel to read the gossip surrounding your brother?
It's always fiction…always. As family, I don't bother with any of the print, but I like seeing the pictures as they show up online.
Do you get recognized?
Yes, but not because I look like Brad. More as Val Kilmer, back in the day, and now some Travolta, which I don't understand. It's not until the last six or seven years that I've been getting Brad references from people who didn't know who I am.
What is the best part of being Brad Pitt's brother?
Having a cool brother. :)
— Clay Skipper