"Mondays suck". Grow up. Haven’t we all learned by now? Human brains are susceptible to whatever bullshit mindfulness you want to feed them.
Let’s try it.
I now declare Monday is the new FRIDAY. Mon-yay, if you will. And no, this isn’t a spell, it won’t work like magic. You have to train your brain into believing it. Follow these steps and start the week with a TFIM feeling.
Get social on a Sunday evening
Sod off Sunday night blues! We’re busy. Ever done that classic better be home by 6pm to ‘ready my mind’ for the week ahead thing, only to find yourself in tears by 7.30pm and wondering when and why the world became so cruel? Yep, me too. And the resolve is simple: DON’T ready your mind for the week ahead. Carry on enjoying your weekend. Extend that Sunday afternoon in the pub into the evening and don’t get so precious if you’re still out and about at gasp 9pm. Repeat after me: Sunday is not a school night.
Get lazy on a Monday morning
This one has to be executed with precision or can be quite stressful. You don’t want to be in a rush or late, but you do want to get up half an hour after your usual alarm time. ‘Tis a delicate art to master. You must actually plan to do those end-of-week emergency tricks you normally bust out on a Friday after snoozing until the end of time. Know you will get the later train in, with a well-mastered dry-shampoo-do, in your comfiest work-appropriate outfit, which is laid out ready for you to jump in, and still be on time. Suddenly, a lie-in feels smug as a bug in a rug.
Small talk in the present, not the past
Yes, it is nice to reflect on what a brilliant weekend you had when asked by every colleague you see before lunch. Lovely. If only it was still the amazing weekend I just had. If only it wasn’t… Aaaaaannd slippery slope into to melancholy Monday. Try this script:
Small talker: How was your weekend?
You: fantastic, cheers. And guess what I’m doing tonight?
Small talker: Tonight? But it’s Monday….
You: it is. And that’s ok. Because Monday is my batch-cook-and-sing-in-my-pants-with-wine night.
Small talker: you are an inspiration to us all.
Have a dirty lunch
Trying to curb my Pret spend to once a week led me into a little dirty Friday lunch pattern. Four days of healthy-cheap-prepped lunches is quite enough for me. But having dirty lunch on a Friday meant I was too tired and too full to enjoy my evening, and would often end up in a lump on the sofa ordering more junk, feeling gross, and continuing that theme for the whole weekend. Having dirty lunch on a Monday, however, fills me with reason and glee. And if I’m feeling full and gross during my weekly batch-cook-and-sing-in-my-pants-with-wine night, it's fine because it makes me actually want to "eat clean" for the next four days. Hand me the crabstick! Pass the carrot baton, for the cycle is broken!
Enjoy a sing and dance and some booze
I won’t explain what I do on a Monday night for a third time, but you get the point. It doesn’t have to be Friday for you to get some serious wiggle on. In the privacy of your own home you can channel Whitney that bit louder, and free your inhibitions, for only your cat is watching, and the best part – you can put the wine down after one glass because you’re knackered and have to get up in the morning. But at least there’s only four days to go!
