Bullying has been part of schools, workplaces, and plenty of other social spheres for a long time — so much so that you may discount it as normal, expected, or even a right of passage in certain contexts.

Health professionals want to change that paradigm. They say that such behavior should not be shrugged off or allowed to persist.

“Addressing bullying with a dismissive attitude or treating it as an inevitable part of life are not appropriate responses for administrators, coaches, or leaders,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, a clinical counselor who specializes in trauma and relationships and the owner of Lotus Therapy in Vancouver, Canada.

Such an approach can perpetuate a culture of silence and acceptance around bullying behaviors, potentially exacerbating the issue and leading to long-term negative impacts on those involved, she explains.

Data shows that bullying is pervasive among children and adults alike, and that it has significant consequences for both. Research published in 2021, for instance, estimates that 1 in 3 children globally had been bullied within the previous 30 days.

The same report states that bullied children are twice as likely to skip school and more likely not to go to college compared with their peers, and that being bullied is associated with low self-esteem, depression, and self-harm among children.

Most available research on adult bullying focuses on the workplace. In one study on workplace bullying, the authors cite existing research showing that anywhere from 14 to 37 percent of Americans say they’ve experienced workplace bullying, that the bullying is increasingly happening online, and that being bullied in adulthood is associated with many of the same consequences as in childhood, including higher risk of depression, social anxiety, and low self-esteem.

If you or a loved one is experiencing bullying, here’s what you need to know.

What Is Bullying?

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines bullying as a “persistent threatening and aggressive physical behavior or verbal abuse directed toward other people, especially those who are younger, smaller, weaker, or in some other situation of relative disadvantage.”

The APA’s definition of bullying specifies that the aggressive or abusive bullying behavior must be persistent and ongoing — it’s not a single interaction.

“At its core, bullying is characterized as an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships. It manifests through repeated verbal, physical, and social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, or psychological harm,” explains Jason Walker, PsyD, PhD, an associate professor at Adler University, where his research focuses on workplace bullying and harassment.

Bullying can take place in a wide variety of settings, including at school, work, and home; online or via other digital platforms; and in social environments like groups or clubs. And it can affect people of all ages. While the setting may change, the intention is the same, Dr. Walker says: “Bullying behavior is designed to intimidate and harm others, creating an environment of fear, terror, and distress.”

Common Questions & Answers

Why do people bully others?

There’s no single reason why bullies may bully others, but many bullies share certain traits, including narcissism, lack of empathy, and impulsivity. Bullies may dominate others to boost their social status or make up for their own low self-esteem. Sometimes bullying is the result of the perpetrator being bullied themselves.

What should you do if you’re bullied?

If you’re being bullied, it’s important to confide in someone you trust and to report the bullying to an authority figure who can document it if possible (like a school principal or an HR representative). If the bullying continues, confide in trusted friends and family members, and seek support from a mental health professional.

How can you help someone who’s being bullied?

You can help someone who’s being bullied by listening to and validating their feelings. Encourage them to try activities outside of school or work that help them feel good about themselves. If it’s a child, report the bullying to an authority figure. If it’s an adult, encourage them to report the instances themselves or ask if they’d like you to do so.

Is bullying harmful?

Bullying has many negative consequences, including higher risk of anxiety and depression, lowered self-esteem, social withdrawal, and even suicidal ideation.

How can we stop bullying?

Bullying has a wide range of root causes. Some large-scale ways that our culture can work to prevent bullying are offering programs that teach parenting skills, providing quality education starting early in life, connecting young people to caring adults through mentorship programs, and making communities safer.

What Causes People to Bully Others?

There’s no single reason for a person to engage in bullying behavior.

Some turn to the concept that “hurt people hurt people” to explain what leads someone to be a bully.

If a bully is dealing with (or has previously experienced) issues in their own life that are painful or difficult, they may use bullying behaviors to seek out or display power or control, explains Jephtha Tausig, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City. “Some bullies take out their unhappiness, frustration, anger, or sadness on others. Some even derive pleasure from others’ unhappiness or pain. Some bullies are perpetuating what they have witnessed or experienced in their own environments.”

Walker says that research tends to focus on the nature and traits of bullies, rather than the motivations behind a bully’s actions. Research on adolescent bullying shows that many bullies have self-esteem issues, personality disorders, or challenges managing anger — and that traits like narcissism, impulsivity, and lack of empathy are common among bullies as well.

Research on school bullying indicates that adolescent bullies are more likely to be male, to have a preference for social dominance, and to display lower levels of social desirability compared with their peers who don’t bully.

Although there’s less research looking at the reasons behind adult bullying (compared with adolescents), it’s clear that someone who bullies in childhood is more likely than others to do the same in adulthood.

One study found that adults with a history of being childhood bullies were 6 times more likely to get into fights and 2.5 times more likely to harass or threaten another person, compared with adults with no bullying history.

Another study found that adult bullies were more likely to report mood disorders, anxiety, substance use, and personality disorders compared with nonbullies.

Walker says that individuals who bully may seek out situations that make bullying behavior easier to engage in. “Positions of authority, particularly in structures with significant power differentials, can exacerbate the potential for bullying, with those lower in the hierarchy finding it challenging to defend themselves or escape the situation,” Walker says.

Types of Bullying

Many researchers separate bullying into four categories: physical, verbal, passive-aggressive (sometimes called relational), and cyberbullying.

While the behavior may manifest in slightly different ways, the foundation is the same.

“Common to all forms of bullying is the negative psychological impact that includes manipulation and intimidation tactics aimed at instilling fear in the target. Each form can impact an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being,” Walker says.

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying calls back the image of the schoolyard bully threatening to beat up a smaller student for their lunch money. Walker says that it includes aggressive and assaultive behavior such as hitting, kicking, or pushing, which can result in both physical injury and long-term psychological trauma.

It can happen in adult scenarios, too, however. Damaging someone else’s belongings or property are examples, Esmaeilpour says. And the same behaviors of hitting, punching, or being physically aggressive toward others happen among adults and can be considered bullying as well, she says.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying is any ongoing verbal interaction that may include name-calling, insults, and offensive or abusive comments. The comments can be subtle or blatant, and can inflict serious emotional harm.

Common examples include making derogatory comments about someone’s appearance, religion, ethnicity, or sexuality, Esmaeilpour says.

Passive-Aggressive Bullying

Passive-aggressive bullying, sometimes referred to as social or relational bullying, is a more subtle form that’s often harder to identify, because someone who is passive-aggressive will communicate negative emotions and behaviors indirectly and sometimes secretly, instead of openly, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

This kind of bullying shows up as sarcasm, exclusion, or spreading rumors.

“Passive-aggressive bullying is problematic due to its elusive nature, making detection difficult,” says Monika Roots, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the co-founder and president of Bend Health, a virtual pediatric and family mental health care company.

Just because it’s harder to identify doesn’t make it less harmful. “The emotional impact includes stress and self-doubt, undermining relationships, and potentially escalating conflicts. Persistent exposure can harm mental health and reduce a child’s productivity at school,” Dr. Roots explains.

Cyberbullying

While verbal, physical, and passive-aggressive bullying take place during in-person social interactions, the internet has created a new realm for bullying.

“Cyberbullying is a more modern and pervasive form that occurs through digital platforms by creating and sharing harmful or private content about someone to damage their credibility, cause embarrassment, and create psychological terror,” says Walker.

Symptoms of Bullying

The symptoms of bullying will vary depending on the type of bullying inflicted on the victim. While physical bullying may result in physical signs and symptoms, the other forms of bullying won’t necessarily have overt physical indications.

Walker and Roots point to the following potential signs and symptoms that can be the result of bullying:

Unexplained Physical Marks on Children If your child is experiencing physical bullying, they may come home with bruises, scratches, or other marks.
A Child Losing Belongings Regularly It’s not unusual for kids to lose things on occasion, but if it becomes a daily or weekly event, it may be time to push for more information.
Changes in Behavior or Increased Moodiness Any behavior change should be noted. Walker says that in both children and adults, these may include atypical or extended bouts of sadness or anger, anxiety, or withdrawal. It might also include changes in sleeping or eating patterns, or seeming moodier or more frustrated or upset than usual.
Decline in Academic or Work Performance If your previously academically consistent child suddenly starts faltering when it comes to schoolwork and grades, it could be an indicator of bullying. In adults, being bullied at work can lead to less engagement with one’s job and coworkers, according to research.
Avoiding Social Situations Bullied children are likely to start trying to avoid situations where they are bullied. Pay attention to changes in their interest in previously enjoyed extracurricular activities or events.
Complaints of Feeling Sick Complaining of headaches or stomach aches when there’s no clear sign of sickness may indicate stress related to bullying.
Suicidal Talk or Ideation “Any talk of self-harm or suicidal ideations should be taken very seriously as it indicates severe distress,” says Walker. There’s a strong relationship between suicidal ideation and being bullied. Research shows that being bullied is linked to a higher risk of suicidal ideation and suicide, although statistics on this vary.

How Bullying Can Affect Your Health

The physical, emotional, and social impact of bullying is significant. Specifically, physical bullying can lead to immediate injury, whether minor or more severe. All bullying, regardless of type, can have emotional, psychological, and physical impacts that can last for years.

Bullying Can Increase Risk of Depression, Anxiety, and Other Mental Health Problems

A meta-analysis of research done on adolescents found a significant link between being bullied and depressive symptoms.

It’s possible that these consequences will last into adulthood.

One longitudinal study found that even four decades after bullying occurs, bullies, victims, and “bully-victims” (those who have bullied others and been bullied themselves) are more likely to have depression, anxiety, and alcohol dependence than those who weren’t involved in such incidents.

Another study found that a low frequency of bullying led to negative emotional health outcomes in youth.

By analyzing self-reported survey information related to bullying and comparing it with independent variables assessed by the Social Emotional Health Survey, researchers found that bullying taking place less than once a month led to detrimental impacts on belief in self, engaged living, and depression.

Bullying May Increase Risk of Suicide and Suicidal Ideation

A study looking at the link between bullying and suicide found that adolescents who experience any kind of bullying are at a higher risk for suicide attempts, and that cyberbullying was more strongly related to suicidal ideation than any other type.

Bullying Can Hamper Sleep

Compared with bullies and adolescents who aren’t involved in bullying, both bully-victims and adolescents who are bullied reported more sleep disturbances, according to research.

Among adults, research found that targets of workplace bullying are more than twice as likely to report sleep problems compared with nonbullied workers.

Bullying Can Lead to Psychosomatic Symptoms, Fatigue, and Pain

“Bullying has been linked to musculoskeletal complaints, sleep issues, headaches, and generalized physical pain,” says Walker.

One review of the impacts of bullying on children found that being bullied was associated with several symptoms thought to be psychosomatic, including feeling tired, lack of appetite, headache, back pain, and dizziness.

How to Prevent Bullying

Preventing bullying is possible, but there need to be resources and systems in place to do so.

On a macro scale, Walker emphasizes that officials need to reconceptualize the phenomenon as a public health issue. A 2016 report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine called for the recognition of bullying as a public health issue as well.

This is because bullying is pervasive and has lasting and significant health consequences.

The solution to preventing bullying involves prioritizing education and awareness programs, intervention, and surveillance.

“Creating clear, universal anti-bullying policies and a culture of safety will contribute to the overall well-being of our society,” Walker says. “Encouraging the mandatory reporting of bullying behavior and providing dedicated support services becomes part of a preventive public health mandate, akin to early intervention for any other health condition.”

When a child is being bullied, Esmaeilpour says that any adult who notices the bullying should report it to the relevant authority figure.

With adult bullying, she recommends encouraging the adult who’s being bullied to report it themselves to HR, an administrator, or whoever the appropriate person is.

In conjunction with such policies, Walker emphasizes the need for parents, school officials, and employers to work together to address bullying before it starts. “The conversation starts at home,” he says.

Walker says that parents can encourage good behaviors among their kids and discourage bullying behavior by:

Pointing out positive role models and behavior
Creating clearly defined reporting criteria
Creating clearly defined interventions
Adopting bullying education curricula to foster understanding, respect for differences, and social-emotional learning to encourage empathy and kindness
Enforcing hard-hitting consequences for bullying activities

Roots also emphasizes opening a dialogue about bullying with your children before there’s a known issue. “Chances are that your child will witness bullying in some capacity, or maybe they already have. It’s best they know they can always turn to you when things come up,” she says.

What to Do About Bullying if It’s Happening to You or Someone You Love

The steps to address bullying vary slightly depending on whether it’s happening to you or to someone you love. If you’re the victim of bullying as an adolescent or adult, Walker suggests these actions:

Speak up about the issue. Tell someone you trust about what’s happening.
Document the bullying that has taken place so you have a record of the abuse.
Reach out to help lines as needed.
Seek out new or different friend groups and join clubs or activities where you feel safe and included.
For cyberbullying, save messages for record-keeping, block the sender, change your passwords, and resist the urge to retaliate.

If bullying is happening to your child, an adult you know, or another friend or family member, Walker says to try these approaches:

Listen calmly and offer comfort and support. This is particularly true if they’re reluctant to discuss what’s happening.
Reassure them that it’s not their fault and that bullying is wrong.
Praise them for having the courage to discuss the bullying.
Assure them that they’re not alone and that bullying is far too common.
Inform school officials (the principal, a nurse, or a counselor) so they can intervene
Recognize that each bullying situation is unique and may require a different approach.
Take any reports of escalating threats or physical harm very seriously.
Involve teachers or counselors in initial interventions, rather than the bully’s parents. If interventions don’t resolve the issue, consider discussing it with the bully’s parents with a school official present.
Research your state’s anti-bullying laws and school policies (if applicable) to understand the protections and actions available. StopBullying.gov has info on the different states’ laws as well as federal laws, and being familiar with yours can guide you in what actions you might take and who you might report bullying to if it continues. In severe cases that cause you concern about your child’s safety, don’t hesitate to contact legal authorities.

Roots emphasizes that it’s important to make sure that you or your loved one is receiving the mental health support needed to address emotional or psychological harm that’s taken place. “Children enduring bullying require guidance and support both at school and home. Listening to your child attentively and fostering an open dialogue about their experiences and observations is vital in providing the understanding and care they need,” Roots says.

Support for Those Experiencing Bullying

Favorite Educational and Reference Resources

Bullying Resource Center

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has put together a comprehensive guide to child bullying, including fact sheets for parents, videos, research, and book suggestions.

StopBullying.gov

This advocacy website (run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) has helpful resources on bullying, including how to identify different types and what the risks are of each. It also breaks down state and federal bullying laws so that you can learn more about your civil rights.

Stomp Out Bullying

Like other organizations, Stomp Out Bullying has resources about bullying, its impacts, and what you can do to prevent or fight back against it. What we love about this group in particular is that many of these resources are geared toward child and teen bullying victims.

Favorite Cyberbullying Resources

Cybersmile

Because cyberbullying is a huge and growing issue, the Cybersmile Foundation is dedicated entirely to spreading more information about and working to prevent cyberbullying.

Favorite Online Course

Helping Your Child When They’re Bullied

This free online video course is a great resource for parents who don’t know how to help their child being bullied or what to do about it. It’s taught by Melissa Lopez-Larson, MD, an Ohio-based psychiatrist.

Favorite Help Lines

Crisis Text Line

This organization offers free, 24/7 support via text for those in any kind of crisis.

Stomp Out Bullying HelpChat Crisis Line

A free, confidential online chat for people between age 13 and 24 who are struggling with issues around bullying and cyberbullying.

If you or a loved one is experiencing significant distress or having thoughts about suicide and needs support, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. If you need immediate help, call 911.

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

Everyday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy. We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.

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